His Story

My son Ashton Michael Cookson died on January 1, 2005. It was a shocking night. Ashton had a good day. He was full of smiles but tired a lot, he seemed to wake up a lot. I wish I knew what's wrong with my son before he went to the angels. You think to yourself a lot and saying what if. Jason and I decied to go out, with couple of friends. We ate dinner then went bowling then we went to the bar. I wish we would have went home because I know I had this worst feeling ever.

So it was around I think 2 am, my father called me and said, "Melissa you need to get home," and I was like, "Oh no Ashton's crying." So when we got there, wow a lot of cops maybe over 7 of them and a big white van and I saw my mom in tears and I was like, "My badass mom is crying", and I was like, "Oh no". When I went to go see my son, he was lying on the table, wrapped up. I didn't know what to think, I was scared. I lost someone I truly love with all my heart. So I sat down at the table and cried and prayed. Yes, I do hate God for this I really do but he's an angel and that's what God can do for me. I laid my head down next to him and said, "Ashton, I know you can't hear me, but this is mommy, I am so sorry I let you down, but I'm glad I saw you with a smile on your face and playing like a big boy. I love you so much Ashton, I will become strong for you in the future and make you a brother or sister. Someday mommy will meet you and we will be a family." Then I walked away so they could take him away.

I never felt lonely in my life. He made me strong to this day. I cry as often as I can but my strength is dying and I'm becoming weak. With doing the funeral there were over 100 people at his vistation. His own father showed up and he only saw him 3 times out of 5 months. I thought he and I were going to become really close and he was going to change, but Ashton didn't want me hurt, he always saw me happy.

To this day I think more of him each day, sometimes I think he's always lying next to me, I burn a candle in his memory every day and blow it out with a kiss with his pictures, he's my peanut and always will be.

You will always be in our hearts.